You've Won My Heart Forever!

Ok - I am now in love with Sandra Bullock. See? There I go - falling in love, yet again! (Come ON - I can think of worse things!) Please, please listen to her Academy Award acceptance speech. She is funny and passionate and it blows me away how smoothly she executed that speech. It felt completely spontaneous and from her heart. Blindside is definitely the next movie on my list. This speech spoke to me like no other, ever.




What the hell is Joey talking about now, you say? Well, if you follow my blog, you may have guessed that my life's struggle is mothering my adopted child. In this speech, Sandra Bullock touched my soul and won my heart forever. When she said,

"I would like to thank what this film is about for me, which are the moms that take care of the babies and the children, no matter where they come from. Those moms and parents never get thanked."

I totally lost it. I'm pretty sure I don't need to explain why. Just know, she completely gets me. So, from the bottom of my heart, Sandra Bullock - thank you.

Sweet Dreams

Been doing ALOT of dreaming lately. Daydreaming - maybe it's spring fever. I tend to do that to get through March and April. February ends and you're like, "YAY, winter's over!" And then March dragggggggssssss. And April disappoints! You have snowstorms and the beautiful, clean snow melts overnight. Then you have mud and rain and it's bone-chilling cold even though the thermometer reads 50 degrees. So dreaming is definitely in order.

But it is beautiful today. It's really warm and the sky is so blue - without one cloud. I was sure I would find a crocus blooming in my yard, so I went outside with my camera. But not a one. I DID find THIS "growing" in my garden though! If you double click on the picture, you can see my yard reflected in the blue glass ball. Isn't that so cool??

I do have to say, there are certain events that occur in March and April that confirm to me that winter IS ending. Daylight Savings Time starts in 6 days! That is definite joy! While I hate the dark mornings (wouldn't you, if you saw 4:30AM too many mornings a week?), I LOVE the longer light in the evening. And the fact that we don't have to wait until April for the clocks to change anymore! Yay!!

One of the highlights of this time of year is the first night I hear the peepers! Peepers - you say? Come ON - you have to know the sound! It's the sound of spring! Those little froggy like thingys that fill the night with their beautiful song? The weather determines when I start going outside each evening to listen for the sound. If it's a warmer March, I usually hear them the last week of March. Some years - not till April. But to me - it is the sound of hope.

And the Boys of Summer are back! I LOVE BASEBALL. I especially love my Yankees. (I especially love Andy Pettitte - HA!) I have sooooo many memories connected to the Yankees. My son Michael was born in the middle of a Yankee-Boston playoff game. The doctor was watching the freaking game instead of me!! Anyway - spring training has begun and I even watched a game already! And we won! Woohooo! But I don't only love Major League ball, I love my son's baseball season. This week is the team draft and by weeks end, we will know who's on Michael's team. My husband is one of the head coaches and we are right on the front line. You would be amazed at how serious these grown men are! You gotta laugh! Lighten up guys!!

Anyway - Michael is 10 and last year he proved himself to be a pretty good little ballplayer. He can hit, he can field and he can pitch! So it's very fun. (stressful to watch him pitch, mind you) But I LOVE hanging with the Yummy Mummys on the hill cheering our sons on and indulging in great conversation in between plays. Adds a whole new dimension to your life! It brings the girls together and we all take turns keeping an eye on each other's kids and I just really enjoy the girl time. And nothing beats watching your own kid play!

Then there's the New Haven St. Patty's Day parade. It's held every year on the Sunday before St. Patrick's Day and I think I have missed only one parade in the past 23 years. Before kids, it used to be one big party fest. Most years, I saw 5 minutes of parade and 5 hours of the inside of a bar. But that was always so fun. March Madness would be blasting from the tvs and everyone was in such a good mood. Afterall, the parade is the spring opener in New Haven!

Then we had kids and everything shifted! Outside - that is! It is always so FREAKING cold out there! I don't remember it being so cold in the olden days - perhaps, BECAUSE I WAS IN A NICE WARM BAR? Helloooo? But we line up our chairs, the women and children wrap up in blankets (Snuggies for the kids - so queer...I mean cute!), the kids talk us into buying dumb, expensive junk toys and balloons, the coolers of beer open and the long afternoon of festivities begins. Quite different from the early years of parade "watching". But hey, life changes...

And don't forget Easter. Huge holiday at our house. We actually end up hosting 3 totally different functions in that one day. I take Easter Monday OFF!!! First thing in the morning, my side of the family gathers for a big Polish breakfast - kielbasa, ham and colored eggs - oh and CHEESECAKE, (This year's first sweet indulgence after 40 days off the sugar drug!) And then there's the annual "Who's Horseradish is Hotter" contest. My father makes it, I make it and we each buy a brand and the same gyrations occur every Easter. Who's creates the best horseradish headache? Which one makes your eyes tear up the worst? Anyone having a seizure? Surely - that jar is the winner!

So that ends about 10 and the Easter Egg Hunt begins. We started this tradition back when we had no children but had nieces and nephews. This will be our 19th year and it has taken on a life of it's own. In an effort to preserve the integrity of the hunt, as children grew up, we invited more and more families with young children and now anywhere from 20-50 people show up. In addition to our own family and extended family, the neighborhood comes as well as friends from near and far. You know how hard it is to hook up with friends during the year? Well, this takes the pressure off. We know we will see each other on Easter so we're good! What cracks me up is how many people still come who don't even have young children anymore. And the teen and adult children are starting to show up again!

It gives everyone a chance to catch up, the weather has never stopped us and there has even been several Easter Sundays where it was so warm that everyone just lounged around outside on the front porch and in lawn chairs and no one wanted to leave! It's 2 hours, from 11-1 and the adults drink mimosas and bloodys and eat shrimp cocktail and coffeecake. The kids eat - what else???? What I love most? The memories for the kids. My best growing up memories revolve around holidays with cousins and I am positive these days gone by will live forever in their memories.

Once the hunt crowd disperses to their own holiday celebrations, Bob's family gathers here and we have dinner together. This year is going to be awesome because -THE YANKEES ARE PLAYING THE RED SOX!! Personally, can't think of a better way to spend Easter afternoon! AND I get the next day off!!!

I am sure there are a few things I have missed boring you with - my daughter's ice skating show is in March, I have 2 different trips to Boston planned - one with the girls and one with the family and some friends and don't forget it's the opener to the running season! In fact, today is a perfect day for a run. But alas - my 8 year old daughter Brooke is sick and there are no outdoor runs in the immediate future. But I can dream!

So yes, this time of year is the long stretch to summer, but there are definitely milestones that we experience each year that break up the monotony. So I try to remind myself that there is joy to catch even during the muddy season and if all else fails - I have my dreams!

PS - look what I DID find in my garden when I was out there with my camera. My daffodils! With buds! Can you believe how big they are? It really IS true - spring is coming!

Ahhhhh - Sweet Revenge

When I was growing up, we always had dogs. Never a cat. When Bob and I first got married (back in the olden days - 1988!), and moved into the house we had just built, my father-in-law brought us not one, but TWO kittens. We named them Stripey and Magic. Not being a cat person, I was a bit dis-enchanted immediately. Using houseplants as the litter box, scratching all the furniture to shreds and jumping on the counters did not endear them to me at all. Their first Christmas, they pulled the Christmas tree down THREE times! The day before Christmas Eve they pulled it down for the third time and I picked it up fully decorated, in the stand and tossed it out the front door.

But they did mellow over time and I actually fell in love with them. But living on a main road is not the best housing situation for a cat and over the years we lost Magic, Bridget, Lucy and Ethel to that beast. But Stripey!
Stripey lived for 19 years! I adored that cat. She was the most affectionate animal I have ever owned and when Michael was born, she fell in love with him and visa versa. That cat knew how to love! Stripey died in our arms a bit over a year ago right after Christmas. She died the way she lived - with the utmost grace.

Of course, with three little kids, the nagging for another pet began immediately. I was adament that I didn't want another animal. No one could live up to Stripey and in all honesty, her last year had been a tough one and alot of work went into keeping her comfortable, clean and alive. I needed a break. But as the months went by, I actually found myself yearning for a sweet little something to hold and cuddle with. Of course, I didn't tell them that!! I let them think I was giving in. Come on! I had to get them to commit to cleaning the litterbox! Plus I always need something to hang over their heads!! Finally gave in and I said ok ONE kitten.

In June we came home with two. Aghhhhhhh - I am such a LOSER!
Jeter and Claris have been with us for 9 months and they have yet to win my heart. They are tearing the wallpaper off the kitchen walls, piece by piece, night after night. They have scratched all the furniture to shreds (deja vu!), the kids fight over who's turn it is to clean the litterboxes, and to add insult to injury, they hate me - because I'm the one always chasing them away from the furniture, yelling at them for ruining my walls and scaring them off the kitchen table - grossssss! I can't stand having kittens!!!! They never let me pet them, they won't cuddle with me and when they see me coming, they run. Nope - no joy there!

But now they have started something! It's as if they have triple dog dared me to win their affection. And you all know about me and being triple dog dared! I am determined to get them to like me!! I pick them up (when they aren't looking, so they can't run away) and stroke them so gently. They barely tolerate it, straining to escape! I spend time at eye level chanting "here kitty kitty" in the sweetest little voice, trying desperately to get them to come to me - to no avail. I buy them treats and attempt to win their love with bribes - NOTHING! If I find them lounging on my bed, I whisper terms of endearment and they get up and RUN!

Well you know what? If I can't win this dare, then I'm thinking the next best thing? Revenge! That's it. I'm done. They'll see. When I start ignoring them, they'll want me so bad. But it will be too late. Maybe I should get a puppy....yeah, a puppy!! That'll fix them!! I can feel the joy already - Mmmmm, so sweet...

Looking Good!

So, as you can see, my blog has a new look! Isn't that bird BEAUTIFUL??? It's called a South African Lilac Breasted Roller. I found the below picture on someone else's blog yesterday and fell in love with it. (So passionate, aren't I? Love affair with chocolate, in love with running, fell in love with this photo? That's what it's all about!!) I posted it on facebook and commented that I thought it was a photo that had been painted. Surely no bird in nature has THAT many colors!?

But alas, I was corrected by my friend Karen. That is a real bird!! AND she found the adult photo of the South African Lilac Breasted Roller and that's how it came to be my new blog header.

Who knew Mother Nature had so much to offer? Amazing. I know I don't need to point out the joy in this post...

Quick Gripe

Please tell me I am not the only person with one of these in my kitchen! NOT the refrigerator, silly. The "things" growing ON the refrigerator!!! (Oh! and is that a Christmas decoration still out??? Aghhhhhh - can you believe I just noticed that!?)

I mean - what the hell??? I swear I removed all that crap just a few short months ago! Where does it come from? What IS all that JUNK!? Is that a "I Brushed My Teeth Today?" chart? And a "Who's Day Is It To Clean the Litter Box?" calendar?! Seriously, why can't they just brush their teeth and clean the litter box WITHOUT A CHART???

And if you double click on the above picture, you can really open a window into my life. See that blonde almost in the center with a bottle of Stoli to her lips? THAT'S ME!!!! Because there IS no joy in owning a kitchen masterpiece like this!! Oh! And the one above it? "I do not have PMS. I'm a bitch."? Hmmmmmm...I'll let you be the judge!

BTW - can I just tell you something? Now this has absolutely NOTHING to do with the theme of this post but since you're here...

As you may know, I am a fitness trainer and I see about 120 women a week. You also know that I personally, am on day 18 off sweets and treats. (Yes - I am human and no, I am not a magician who can make you look 25 again.) I coach women daily on the merits of clean eating and how to get the body/health/fitness level they want by combining clean eating with working out.

So 2 minutes ago, in the middle of my Saturday afternoon, my kids coming running in yelling, "Mom, your client is here!" and I'm like, huh? I don't have any clients scheduled this afternoon! In walks my client that has been with me the longest since I opened the gym - 4 years. She comes bearing a gift. A FREAKING WHOOPEE PIE! You can NOT be serious! This is how my life goes...

PS - I stored it in the freezer of that masterpiece in the picture above. I'm good, aren't I? Come on, SAY IT!

APS

I AM A CHAPSTICK ADDICT. There, I've said it.

I think I have Addictive Personality Syndrome. Is that real??? Well, if it's not, I'm creating it today - APS. I mean, I just admitted to you in a post 15 days, 12 hours, 55 minutes and 54 seconds ago that I was a sugar addict. Now I am compelled to tell you that I am addicted to chapstick. But I know I am not the only person in the world because I definitely know my sister-in-law Jennifer is a chapstick addict also. So it must be real. Besides - I live in my own little world. I can make up any syndrome I want there! So yes - I have APS.

Anyway - I cannot go much more than an hour without swiping the slick stuff across my mouth. In fact, most days, I am reaching for the tube every 20 minutes or so! And it's not the brand name "Chapstick" that I use. I have my favorites - Burt's Bees, Mary Kay and recently, Blistex Deep Renewal Anti-aging Treatment (Because it reduces the signs of aging you know! Right...)

So I was standing in the gym, training for the 5th hour of my morning (lonnnnggg morning today!) and I reached for my trusty Blistex Slicker for probably the 15th time since 5AM and I started laughing to myself as the following memory slid by between lunges and military presses.

This just goes to show you how long I have been a chapstick addict. When I was 27, so that's at least how long I've been addicted (25 years! Oh wait, only 22 as I am the new 49. Phew, now I feel better...), it was Christmas time and I was at the mall one evening doing some shopping. I pulled into the parking space, whipped out the ole chapstick (because if you're an addict, you can't do anything without getting lubed) and applied it across my lips. Now it just so happened that it was really cold that week and my lips were wicked chapped so I actually applied it above my upper lip to soothe and heal that chapped area. Ran a comb through my hair and I was off into the mall.

So I'm inside, shopping for about 20 minutes, walking through the mall, stopping at stores, browsing through crap but not actually purchasing anything at this point. Well, I go into this dress shop and I start looking through some dress racks. As I am going through a rack I feel a tickle across my cheek and I swipe my hand up to my face to brush my cheek and when I drop my hand to continue flipping through the clothes I notice a bright red streak on my hand. It doesn't register at first...AND THEN I REALIZE. Oh God, please don't let it be! I put my hand up to my mouth and run a finger across my bottom lip and OMG, I HAVE RED LIPSTICK on my finger! And in fact, it is not JUST on my finger. It is ALL over my lips and ALL ABOVE MY UPPER LIP, PRACTICALLY UNDER MY NOSE!!!!

I thought I was going to pass out. I had been freaking walking around the mall with red lipstick smeared like a clown all over my mouth (and obviously the surrounding AREA!!!) for over TWENTY MINUTES??????

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lesson learned? If you are a chapstick addict, never, I repeat NEVER, buy lipstick in an applicator that looks just like a chapstick tube!!!

And one last thing? You may wonder where the joy in THAT was? The joy is in telling the story every Christmas and getting a roomful of people to laugh until they cry, year after year, even though it may be the 25th (oops, 22nd) time they have heard it...hope you got a laugh at my loserism! (BTW - Loserism IS a word in my world.)

They Make 'Em Cute So You Don't...

The other day, I found a folded piece of paper on my desk. I opened it up and found this:

I literally put my head down and started to cry. My son Anthony had written it. I could see how hard he worked to form the words "I am adopted" and I knew he had dictated "I have an awesome family" because he probably ran out of time and that made me sad, but it also gave me hope. His message was clear! He liked us!!! Despite all the tussles and struggles and challenges and disciplining we all go through together everyday, He LIKED US!!!

Many of you know that my husband and I have three children, 10, 9 and 8 and that my middle child Anthony, aka Dennis the Menace, is not our biological child. As if raising children isn't challenging enough - when you have an Anthony in the mix - woohoo!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love him very much. He's endearing and charming and funny and cute as hell and essentially I call him the mayor of the Emerald City because he can charm everyone and anyone like nobody's business. He is also defiant, street-smart, impulsive, hyper, has a quick temper and is very challenging practically every minute of his day. (Ask any of his teachers!)

Anthony came to us at 8 months old when I was 7 months pregnant with my daughter Brooke. Our son Michael was 2. He had a rough start in life which contributes to his academic and behavioral challenges as well as his personality "quirks". I must admit, this hasn't been an easy 8 years and certainly the course of our lives has been changed dramatically. He requires a great deal of patience, discipline and advocacy. Of course what child doesn't, but I think we're on extra overload with "Dennis"! And yeah - I do understand why some wild animals eat their young!

Our days are typically longer and more challenging than we ever expected and the litmus test of that is when "Dennis" is away for the weekend at his aunt's house and we are getting a bit of respite. There is a discernable energy shift in the house. It's quiet. It's peaceful. (His brother and sister actually miss the chaos!!) It's CLEAN!!! No one is yelling. Everyone is smiling. We can plan activities that we can't do with Anthony (He has a tendency to get over-stimulated and act out.) Broken parts aren't all over the house! You get the picture...

We are often discouraged and surely question our ability, often and regularly, to parent such a child. But, NOW, amongst all the rubble and chaos of this unexpected life with our Anthony, when my spirit feels crushed, I will remember finding that folded piece of paper on my desk that day. I will recall how it broke my heart to see his struggle in black and white. But more importantly, I will relive that moment of bittersweet joy. We have good moments and we have tough ones and yeah - they do make 'em cute so you don't...well, you can finish that thought! But through it all, even though we don't have the instruction manual, maybe what we are doing with this child is ok afterall.