JOYOTA!

Look what I found driving in front of me the other day! You have to double click on the image so it blows up. Huh, what are the odds of that happening? Me - driving behind a car with the license plate "Joyota"? There are no coincidences, people!!!!

Nature's Anti-Depressant

So - been a bit down in the dumps lately. The best medicine for chasing the blues away for me (at least temporarily) is to go to the beach. Last week I spent Monday, Wednesday and Saturday down in the sand. I wanted so badly to just stay until sunset each day but alas, I have classes to teach on both Monday and Wed. evenings and had to leave under protest. But I vowed that I would go on a Friday or Saturday and stay till that fiery ball dropped into the ocean and Saturday was the day. It was so beautiful that day. Warm enough to sit and read all day long, yet cool enough not to sweat! The sky was that bright cloudless blue and there was a slight breeze - the perfect beach day.

And what else makes for a perfect beach day? Happy kids and a fabulous book! I have been reading the Dragon Tattoo series. You know? The trilogy the whole world has been peeing their pants over raving about?? Honestly? They are good. But I wouldn't characterize them as over the top, page turning FABULOUS. They all tell a good story and I do love Lisbeth Salander, the main character - you know - the girl with the dragon tattoo? But the first book, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, took three tries before I finally settled into it. And I only stuck with it the third time because everyone said "You HAVE to get past page 61" or something like that. Aghhh those Swedish namessssss!!!! But I did finally get past page 61 and yes I "liked" it. I didn't love it. I liked The Girl Who Played With Fire better and I do like The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest also. Especially the end. I will be finishing it tonight (after I go pick it up out of my van, which is sitting at the local gin joint.) Sigh - yes I did it again. For those of you who follow my life, you will remember I did this a few weeks ago, too. HATE when I do that - twice!!!

Anyway - got a little off subject there...



So I had 5 kids with me and they were having the time of their lives digging a hole to China. Around 4, I texted my husband and suggested he grab a few pizzas and two a bottle of wine and meet us in the sand for the sunset and he said he wanted to weed whack for a bit and then he would be down. The kids were ecstatic and I was very happy to know I would be extending my day in the sun with a glass of Chardonnay in my hand.

Then it all fell apart. Here's the text I received at 5:03: "Call me. Dad did it again! I broke the front door glass. F#>%+@...it's cracking as we speak." The F'ing weed whacker! What IS it about men? What is the big freaking deal about having to weed whack? This is the THIRD time in 3 years that a stray stone has exploded a window. When our van was a week old, the passenger window exploded. A week later the rear window of our Saab and now 3 years later our FRONT DOOR! Obviously - there would be no wine at sunset on my beach afterall. SHIT...Sniff...sigh...

Oh well - it was almost a perfect day and - all in all, I still found some joy and soothed my battered soul for a few hours. There will always be another sunset on another day...

Some Days

Internet art makes me feel better. I need to feel better today. How about you? I think I need to create some joy.





















































































"I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you."

My Michael

Whoa! No post since June 8th? What does that MEAN? No joy since June 8th???? Not exactly. But it has been a chaotic, crazy time. Baseball consumed our lives all the way through July 5th and I DO plan to write about that experience. But this post is about today. My joy was palpable very early this morning. No! Twisted readers! Not wake-up sex!

No, this joy started on October 14, 1999 and has continued to be my endless supply for the last 10.5 years. His name is Michael. My oldest son is truly an angel from heaven. This morning I was reminded of a simpler time, a joyful period of my life, early in his little life.

Michael was a longgggg time in coming. After 3 years, several mis-carriages and a little help from Yale Infertility, he finally arrived in mid - October, 1999. Talk about JOY? But not without reflux! Michael cried almost incessantly until he was 15 months old! I lived in a corner of our living room couch, endlessly trying to sooth my angelchild. (Watching Rosie obsessively!)

But, I was in love and I would have walked through fire to make his pain go away. In comforting my angel, I located the softest, most joyful part of his body - the back of his beautiful neck. I kissed the back of his neck a thousand times a day. It was my escape into my child. When my lips touched the back of his neck, just under his hairline, I was transported into, for lack of a better word, grace. It was a joy I could catch repeatedly, over and over.

This morning, after lying awake for hours - since 3am, at least - I got up, made coffee and sat at my computer. I heard him before I saw him. I always know his steps down the stairs in the morning. It's innate. I am so bonded to him. Every morning he comes to me and throws his arms around me and buries his head in my thighs (at 2), my belly (at 4), my chest (at 7) and now my shoulder at 10. And this morning - he climbed up into my lap, curled into a ball, laid his head on my shoulder and that's where he stayed. My lips touched the back of his neck and I was once again transported into that place of joy.













































And

Michael did feel the need to remind me that he wasn't 1.5 months old anymore, but 10.5 years old. Note his attempt to make bunny ears for this last picture! It makes no matter. My baby is still my baby...and he can still bring me the greatest joy.



THIS is how I know there is a God.

BadBoys, BadBoys Whatcha Gonna Do?

In my case - BadGirl. I believe I have officially joined the ranks of criminal. Got stopped today for "Reckless Driving". Which - oh BTW - equates to driving 65 in a 40 mph zone. Only one problem - I was driving FIFTY-five. Not SIXTY-five. And I most CERTAINLY was not driving recklessly! I am a very safe driver. But try and tell THAT to a cop. Not me. I was too busy portraying the harried Mom, late for the dentist with two kids at home with strep. Teehee - what's a little white lie between criminal and cop? I DID have one kid home with strep! I'm screwed anyway.

So get this - BadMom also. I called the pediatrician to request a health form be filled out for Anthony and sent to me so he could go to camp for a week this summer. First they call me back to tell me he hasn't had a physical since 2008 and I needed to follow up with camp about whether they need the form to reflect an updated physical. In which case, I would have had to cram an f'ing doctor's appointment into our already overbooked life.

Sooooo - BadMom called the camp and basically they said just get us the form with his immunizations listed. Great! Call the pediatrician. Leave that message and like clockwork? They call me back and proceed to tell me that in 2008 - 6 months after his 2008 physical - he was supposed to come back and get weighed. Due to the fact that BadMom did not do a follow-up weigh-in (are you F'ing KIDDING MEEEEE?), they cannot fill out the form. This kid has seen more doctors in 2 years than I have seen in 15 years. A WEIGH-IN??????????? FML.

Soooo - BadGirl-BadMom went out and caught joy in her OWN way today. Can you say Manicure/PEDICURE???!!!

PS - so instead of automatically losing my license, going to court and paying a fine of $200+ for the criminal activity of reckless driving? I got "Disobeying a Traffic Sign" which carries a $90 fine, no court and no points on my clean and flawless 21 year record. Left-handed joy maybe??? At the very least I joyfully spent the $110+ I saved (operative word - saved), on that mani-pedi!!! I thought I did a good job finding $110 today!

Just When You Thought You Had All the Answers...

Sometimes - joy comes in the most unlikely places and at the most unlikely times...



When I found this homemade card from Anthony, next to my son Michael,(who woke up sick this morning) who was laying on my bed, I was filled with hope.

Then the school called! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - Anthony not having such a good behavior day!!! Aghhh - go figure!

And the Livin' is Easy

It's hard to believe that it's June 3rd today. There are only 9 full days and 2 half days of school left. How can that beeeeeeee? Where did May go? I believe this past May was the fastest month of my life. I mean - seriously. I swear it was just May 1st and I was coming in from a mere 5 mile early morning run and my husband was holding up a sign that read "Say RABBIT". Wasn't that just last Saturday??? And btw - I say "mere 5 mile" run because last Saturday, we ran ELEVEN miles and this Saturday, we run TWELVE. Talk about fast!! Those required training miles sure came fast. Not that the runs themselves were very fast - haaaa - but yikes! The race is in 24 days!

Footnote: "Say RABBIT"? Who doesn't get that? I was telling a few different people about that sign and they had no idea what I was talking about. Don't you know the first word out of your mouth on the first day of every month is supposed to be "rabbit" so you have good luck all month long? I thought everyone knew that!!

But anyway - I expect June to fly as well but could it possibly go as fast as May? I hope this isn't the beginning of the end!! You know how old people are always saying, "time goes so much faster, the older you get"? Ooops - is that what's happening here? Am I saying that?

So it's June and we are finally opening the pool and I am actually working on my gardens and my flower containers. Check this out. I'm really liking this container I put together:















And my hammock is ready for those long hot days of yearning for laying around, relaxing, napping...POP!!! Whoa - that daydream disappeared fast...













No actually, my summer will probably look more like this!



Give me strength!

But there will be joy. The completion of my first 1/2 marathon in over 12 years with Robin and Laurel, a week on the vineyard with my family, reuniting with loved ones, including a weekend college reunion of sistas at the Jonathan Edwards Winery to see - who else - Jonathan Edwards! Long sunny days at the beach - Hammonassett AND Watch Hill - a day in Block Island bike riding with Nancy and Lauren, a Yankee game or two, oh oh, did I tell you?? I'm running a race at Yankee stadium with my family - INSIDE the stadium - in August!!! So lots of joy to catch this summer! God I hope it doesn't go as fast as May!